Wooden on Friendship

I love John Wooden.  Any man who has lived such a storied life and in his 90s is still coachable enough to take notes on other people?  Yeah, he’s baller status.  I’m reading his “Pyramid of Success” playbook right now…an outline of all he built his entire coaching career on.  And it floored me that after establishing the cornerstones of industriousness (which includes both planning and hard work) and enthusiasm, his next foundational brick is friendship.  Take notes from a master:

“It is easier to reach our potential when we learn the value of including others in our quest.  We can accomplish so much more when we work with others.  If we are going to successfully work with others, it is vital to know the function of friendship…Friendship comes from mutual esteem and devotion.  Friendship is doing for others while they are doing for us.  It’s called ministry when all of the doing goes one direction.  Friendship goes both ways.  Friendship is like a good marriage- it’s based on common concern.  Friends help each other; they don’t use each other.  If we are concerned about being successful in the eyes of others, our reputation may be fine, but our character is suspect…we should be more concerned about our character than our reputation.  A good reputation is not worth much if we have faulty character.  If we use our friends to advance a personal agenda, we’ll never have inner peace.  Friends help to complete us, and we’ll be better for having taken them along on our journey to becoming all we are capable of becoming.”

Here’s your challenge.  Make a list of people in your life you would qualify as friends.  Based on Biblical examples of friendship, are they really friends?  Who on that list can you trust most and are you establishing “real-talk” with them…asking the hard questions of accountability..and giving them the right to speak into your life?  Ask God to bring people like that into your life…and become that kind of person yourself.  What about your friendship with God too?  Check what the Biblical standard is…

How about Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego…Would they have stood their ground and held their faith if they didn’t have 2 other friends to stand beside them?  May your friends go “back to back” with you.  A friend Loves at all times.  A friend is patient, kind, truth loving, protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. A friend will lay down their life for their friend.  And how about what a friend is NOT…they are not envious, boasting or proud, not rude, self-seeking, or easily angered.  They look out for the other’s good.  Coach Wooden summed it up this way: “Friendship comes from mutual esteem, respect, and devotion.  Like marriage, it must not be taken for granted but requires and joint effort.”

Wow.  Hoping that’s the wake up call and encouragement to you that is has been to me….both for your friendship with God and for your friendship with those He would entrust to you here and now.

Things that Excite Me

It’s not hard.  I excite easy.  I have had people tell me that the first time they met me, they were scared of me.  that could be a problem.  But it’s generally because I’m really excited about something.  Probably TOO excited in many people’s estimation.  And for some reason, God found it funny to give me really close friends who DON’T excite easy.  Yeah, that’s NEVER led to miscommunication (sarcastic finger is raised right now for those who care or need to know).  I even have a couple friends who have assigned bird names to various individuals: one is a goose, another is a duck…they call me an egret.  Yeah, because that’s the only bird name they could think of that starts with an “E”.

So this excitable egret over here wanted to share something that pumped me up yesterday.  Frankly, it’s been a tough week.  I NEEDED something to excite me.  I guess another personality trait/desire is an excitement about introducing friends to each other…particularly if it’s gonna be beneficial to them both.  Honestly, I have a whole slew of friends who are only friends with each other because I introduced them (and it’s really turned into a fun game of “who do I have the most mutual friends on Facebook with” contest for a few).  Here’s my favorite recent one, for your enjoyment and awe of a God who knows what He’s doing.

Krista is one of my little sisters from my time at Auburn.  She played softball and we dug into the Bible together during my time there and we’ve kept in touch ever since.  She just got a job with Teach for America in Memphis.  WAY TO GO, KRISTA!!!  Julie is another little sister graciously given to me during my time at Clemson.  She’s a stud who wears cardigans in her aspirations to be a counselor someday and help people be godly (she gets plenty of practice helping me for now..haha).  She’s on leadership with Clemson FCA…who goes on a spring break missions trip every year, connecting with the local church, FCA, and other service organizations.  Guess where they’re going this year?  Yeah you guessed it…Memphis!  So I get to introduce Krista to a Julie, who will be able to help Krista know what church to check in Memphis, facilitate meeting the Memphis FCA staff, and who knows???  If schedules work out, Krista might get to even join them for the Spring Break Trip!  Yay for introducing my friends to each other and God using it for good!

Yay for Guy Friends

Yeah, I’ve recently had a few conversations that made me wanna give a shout out to my guy friends out there.  Live in the 4th location in an many years and you’re just thankful you still actually have friends.  God’s been good in blessing me with a few guys and girls…even in the midst of all the moving…that are lifers for sure. 

As for girls…We’re complicated.  I consider myself to be pretty chill…but when asked the other day by a guy friend to speak for my entire gender…and I started giving it some thought…MAN, we must be aliens to you guys!  That’s one thing I appreciate about guys.  Warning…impending Generalization: Their simplicity drives girls nuts.  But, lately to me, it has become quite refreshing!  I’m not gonna speak for all women…and I’m not talking about all guys.  But for the ones I’ve had the pleasure to meet the past 3 years, I want to brag on them.  In a world where fathers are many times absent (physically or at least emotionally)…how is a boy supposed to learn how to be a man?  Here’s a few that have done it well.  They are warriors, yet gentle.  They walk with a holy swaggar. And they’re fun.

Randy, Sean, and Wayne- my BROTHERS in the true sense…3 big black footballers…yeah, I loved being sandwiched in between 2 of them at church one day.  Nothing like being hugged by the guy who sacked Brodie…laughing hysterically with a “tough guy” who names his plants and has more friends than I know what to do with…or having a guy who grew up in ghettos and gangs yet is never without a smile now speak peace to your greatest insecurities and affirm the joy you have.  And i don’t know where you come from…but in many places, there’s a stereotype of the angry black man.  Let me tell you, these guys are rewriting the books.  Tearing down the walls.  Breaking all the stereotypes.  True heros.

Wes, Chette, Scott- Older guy friends who have been fathers to me in the faith.  Chette and Wes have given their lives to work for FCA as chaplains on the college campus.  Scott speaks at FCA camps all the time, filetting himself as he honestly shares from his past and present to inspire us.  All have taught me how to live a life of influence that I hope comes close to matching theirs and their patience, godliness and wisdom.

Evan and Brad- William Wallace.  Need I say more?  No more Mr Nice Guy…Bold, on Fire, and Contagious…and encouragers.

Spencer, Justin, Bryan, Parker, David-  My younger bro’s.  All these guys holding it down at Clemson…making more of their college years than many of us could’ve dreamed of making ours.  They understand their influence.  And they’re using it!  At times their wisdom has humbled me.  It has been an honor to serve them.

Rigo and Clay-  The guys I work with now.  The sacrifices they have made…nope you won’t ever understand it.  Hmm, is that what it looks like to give yourself up as Christ did?

Josh A, Josh B, and Nick- my most recent additions.  They have welcomed me SO WELL to California…they’ve made it start to feel like home.  From the youngest who has been the best little brother I always wanted but never had…to the middle one who has reminded some of us girls that we’re special…to the oldest who has gained it all to lose it all to find it all, be broken, and give it all away.  All 3 really do desire to be a man after God’s own heart and live a life of influence.  None of them have told me that…but they don’t have to.  It’s obvious.

Yeah they’re human and still have things to work on…don’t we all?  But thanks, guys, for showing us glimpses of what REAL LIFE looks like.  I’m a blessed girl for knowing you.  Thank you from the rest of us.

We love the FC Gold Pride!

It’s incredible when your job becomes leveraging one of your friends for God’s kingdom and setting her up to succeed. 

I met Whit during my time on FCA staff at Auburn University.  Since leaving there, we have kept in touch and she has become one of my closest friends.  When she got drafted to play Professional Soccer and told me she wanted to use her platform as a pro athlete to speak for Jesus, I began trying to connect her with the FCA staff in California.  Little did any of us realize that that email would eventually lead to me joining the Bay Area FCA Staff.  Who knows where she will be next season, but for now, as the backup goalkeeper for the FC Gold Pride’s Women’s Pro team, I get to serve my friend as she is used for God’s Glory. 

In July, we finally got the opportunity to coach together! FCA partnered with a pastor in Tracy, CA to put on a youth sports camp.  Thursday featured soccer with Whit as the showcased clinician.  92 kids crowded the field as they learned about soccer and heard Whit tell her story of faith and sport.  Then on the 19th, She got the opportunity to speak again with a group that gathered from Young life and FCA after getting the 3rd start of her professional career!  Last Sunday marked the end of the FC Gold Pride’s Inaugural season.

Speaking at Power Camp

Power camp in Tracy

FCA loves the Gold Pride

Whit speaking after the game

My Brazilian Sisters :)

On the personal front, it has been so much fun to watch women’s pro soccer make a comeback in the US.  Through Whit, I’ve had the honor of meeting many of the players and office staff in the organization, and am so thankful for some of the friends I’ve made in that.  Some of my closest friends that I’ve made since I moved here are her roomates/teammates.    It’s been incredible to watch a young woman who understands how much she has been blessed and that “to whom much is given, much is required”.

If you want to hear more, FCA’s Sharing the Victory magazine featured her in last month’s issue.  She and Cat Reddick Whitehill are two Women’s Professional Soccer Players who are human, yes…but willing to put their lives out there and use their gifts to bring glory to God.

Smiling Faces, Beautiful Places

That’s the tag line on the SC license plates. I love it!

So it’s been a great month here in Clemson. Things are slowly picking up. We’re working on developping a Female Athlete Huddle within the FCA Chaplain’s Ministry here. But we’re also working with the Student Body FCA to adopt and support our coaches and athletes here. Our Female Athlete Huddle paired up with the small groups from the Student Body FCA to host a tailgate for our Women’s Basketball Orange/White Scrimmage.

Spencer and Rochelle grilling it up!!

Several of our athletes at the Bball game

I got to take a couple of our Women’s Basketball Players to a local FCA HighSchool huddle to share their testimonies! How awesome it was to watch these young women stand up in front of 50 or so high school and middle school students to share what God has done in their lives…and watch Him weave together their stories along with the main speaker’s story to pound home the same point in 3 different ways!

Chelsey speaking

Lindsey speaking

My Parents also came to visit me in Clemson. The only non-music major in the family…I think they occasionally have no idea what to do with me. It was awesome to get to show them around and have them join me for a couple days.

Dad and me at the Swim Meet

Mom and me in front of the football stadium

I’ve also spent quite a bit of time out of town this month too (so happy to be landed for a while!). All new FCA staff has to go to New Staff Training Camp. So off to Kansas City, Mo we flew to spend a week at the FCA Home Office. It was amazing! There were 44 new staff from all over the country there that week. We spent 5 days learning more of the “X’s and O’s” of FCA and getting a glimpse of the big picture of FCA across this country and internationally! They were not only sure to equip us for the ministry, but also pour into us through sessions on Spiritual, relational, physical, and financial health. But like any camp, some of the best time was the “in between” time where there were conversations that encouraged, challenged, and set new vision in all our hearts and minds.

I got to meet Jill Ewert in person…she’s the editor for FCA’s Sharing the Victory Magazine

I also got to be a part of the first ever Female FCA Staffperson Retreat. The Georgia/South Carolina Region has the largest number of female staff in the entire country. We have about 20% of the nation’s female staff here! So we got together to discuss how we can tackle some of the topics specific to female athletes and coaches, share ideas of things we had done in our own areas, and just hang out too! I was asked to lead worship for the retreat too…

The younger female staff at the retreat. I am always real intentional about hanging with the staff older than me as I enjoy them and can learn a TON from them. I also really have been blessed with some solid encouraging friendships out of this group!!!

I hit the road once more this month to go attend some athletic events. Particularly due to the drought around here, going to Chattanooga for the “Head of the Hooch” regatta could possibly be the only time I would get to see our rowing team compete. It was incredible to watch these girls compete in one of the largest races in the southeast. I got to encourage many of our rowers who are involved in FCA, and also meet other members of the team for the first time.

One of our boats before they compete

Chatting with one of our coaches and novice rowers

Lastly, I got to go back to Auburn as a part of the trip to Chattanooga for the Women’s Soccer Senior Night. It was so encouraging to see the FCA staff there that had been formative in my time with the chaplain training program. I also got to see some of the athletes I served in my time there.

Allison Whitworth and me after her Senior Night shut-out!